I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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