I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
