Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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