we're chasing vodka with high fives
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
