Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
