dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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