The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
