now i know why i became what i already was.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
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