You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
