i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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