he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
did you just send me my own nude
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
