Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
