I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
