As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
