all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
