i can't believe i had my finger in that
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Randomize