he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
