Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
