You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
