i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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