Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
