Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
