white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Randomize
