Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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