I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
