drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
