The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
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