This house was built for laser tag.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize