Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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