I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
