I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
