did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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