TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
