I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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