The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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