she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
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I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
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You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I smell like Dick and happiness
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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