I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Randomize
