does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Randomize
