its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize