I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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