I could make wine with my vomit
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
