Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
