didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
