He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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