does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
