I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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