I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
