I can tuck mytits in my pants
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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