you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
