I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize