We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize