i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Randomize
