I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm both gender and math confused
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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