Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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