Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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