i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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