you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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