dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
