my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
