Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
